Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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