Dual....:-)
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
