my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
