I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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