we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
