just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
