And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
