How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
