They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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