Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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