it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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