come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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