You just made me feel so damn special
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Everything about him screamed your future.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
