She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize