Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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