i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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