Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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