It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
