omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
