So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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