I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
