im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
