your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
