is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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