the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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