Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
