I feel like abortions should bother me more
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
