Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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