why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
