her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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