Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
