Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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