Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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