There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
there's paper in my vomit.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
