Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
