We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
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You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Your cock deserves a montage
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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