I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
