Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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