i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
