I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
