More tranny stories later!
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
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I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
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That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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