I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
