She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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