PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
