if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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