Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
