You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
