She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize