Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
