I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
