Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You pole danced in your parka.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
