thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
