9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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