yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
All I want is dick and wine.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
