I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
