My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
