My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We have started to decorate penises.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
