Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
