yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
