Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
